My Geek Code (v3.1) says....

Geek: GCS

I'm a geek of computer science.

Dress: d+(?)

    I range from ...

Good leisure-wear. Slacks, button-shirt, etc. No jeans, tennis shoes, or t-shirts.

    ... to ...

I have no idea what I am wearing right now, let alone what I wore yesterday.

Shape: s:+

I'm the height of an average geek.

I'm a little rounder than most.

Age: a(?)

    I range from ...

I'm between 30 and 39.

    ... to ...

I'm immortal.

Computers: C++++

I'll be the first in line to get the new cybernetic interface installed into my skull.

Unix: US++$>++++

SunOS/Solaris:

I've got the entire admin ticked off at me because I am always using all of the CPU time and trying to run programs that I don't have access to. I'm going to try cracking /etc/passwd next week, just don't tell anyone.

    I'm making money at this.

    ... but I'd like to be ...

I am the sysadmin. If you try and crack my machine, don't be surprised if the municipal works department gets an "accidental" computer-generated order to start a new landfill on your front lawn or your quota is reduced to 4K.

Perl: P+++$>++++

Perl is a very powerful programming tool. Not only do I no longer write shell scripts, I also no longer use awk or sed. I use Perl for all programs of less than a thousand lines.

    I'm making money at this.

    ... but I'd like to be ...

I don't write Perl, I speak it. Perl has superseded all other programming languages. I firmly believe that all programs can be reduced to a Perl one-liner. I use Perl to achieve U+++ status.

Linux: L+>++

I've managed to get Linux installed and even used it a few times. It seems like it is just another OS.

    ... but I'd like to be ...

I use Linux ALMOST exclusively on my system. I've given up trying to achieve Linux.God status, but welcome the OS as a replacement for DOS. I only boot to DOS to play games.

Emacs: E---

Emacs sucks! vi forever!!!

Web: W+++(-)

    I range from ...

I am a WebMaster. Don't even think about trying to view my homepage without the latest version of Netscape. When I'm not on my normal net connection, I surf the web using my Newton and a cellular modem.

    ... to ...

The web is really a pain. Life was so much easier when you could transfer information by simple ASCII. Now everyone won't even consider your ideas unless you spif them up with bandwidth-consuming pictures and pointless information links.

Usenet: N+++

I read so many news groups that the next batch of news comes in before I finish reading the last batch, and I have to read for about 2 hours straight before I'm caught up on the morning news. Then there's the afternoon...

Usenet Oracle: o++

I have made the Best Of Oracularities.

Kibo: K+++

I've gotten mail from Kibo.

Windows: w---

Windows has set back the computing industry by at least 10 years. Bill Gates should be drawn, quartered, hung, shot, poisoned, disembowelled, and then REALLY hurt.

OS/2: O-

Tried it, didn't like it.

Macintosh: M+

A mac has it's uses and I use it quite often.

VMS: V--

I would rather smash my head repeatedly into a brick wall than suffer the agony of working with VMS. It's reminiscent of a dead and decaying pile of moose droppings. Unix rules the universe.

Politics-Social: PS+

My whole concept of liberalism is that nobody has the right to tell anybody else what to do, on either side of the political fence. If you don't like it, turn the bloody channel.

Politics-Economic: PE+

Balance the budget with spending cuts and an amendment.

Cypherpunks: Y+

I have an interest and concern in privacy issues, but in reality I am not really all that active or vocal.

PGP: PGP

I've used it, but stopped long ago.

Trek: t(---)

    I range from ...

It's just another TV show.

    ... to ...

Star Trek SUCKS! It is the worst crap I have ever seen! Hey, all you trekkies out there, GET A LIFE! (William Shatner is a t---)

Babylon 5: 5++

Finally a show that shows what a real future would look like. None of this Picardian "Let's talk about it and be friends." crap. And what's this? We finally get to see a bathroom! Over on that Enterprise, they've been holding it for over seven years!

X-Files: X

Ho hum. Just another Fox show.

Roleplaying: R

Role-Playing? That's just something to do to kill a Saturday afternoon.

Television: tv+

I watch some tv every day.

Books: b++>++++

I find the time to get through at least one new book a month.

    ... but I'd like to be ...

I read a book a day. I have library cards in three states. I have discount cards from every major bookstore. I've ordered books from another country to get my Favorite Author Fix.

Dilbert: DI++++

I've received mail from Scott Adams. I'm in the DNRC (Dogbert's New Ruling Class).

DOOM!: D-

I've played the game and really didn't think it was all that impressive.

Geek Code: G++

I know what each letter means, but sometimes have to look up the specifics.

Education: e++>*

Got a bachelors degree

    ... but I'd like to be ...

I learned everything there is to know about life from the "Hitchhiker's Trilogy".

Housing: h----

Married with children -- Al Bundy can sympathize.

Relationships: r+++

Found someone, dated, and am now married.

Sex[m]: y++++

I have a few little rug rats to prove I've been there. Besides, with kids around, who has time for sex?